Dealing with my moment of doubt

As of now, I been out of seminary for over three and half years. I been just trying to get my toe in the water of some form of ministry. Only to be reject by kind words, but offering me no hope. I been struggling to understand why God let me go to seminary and get in such massive debt over it. If I was not met to do this why allow me access to such a school and in such short time? Am I being tested by God? I just would like to have a purpose, a meaning to get up. I want to serve and I feel still called. It is seem, I must go this without a denomination per se. I want to be connect to a church, but no one will offer me a olive branch. I do not have a criminal record, I just do not have much experience. I put all my time and effort in school and seminary. I have learning disability which make it hard for me to express my thoughts on paper. Most assume that, because I can not write I am not intelligent enough. I also gain large amount of weight when I damage my leg and it never fully heal. So, I can not stand long and moving around is not fully easy. Now society has reject me, due to my disability. But, I am not mad or angry at the world per se.  I am however frustrated and dispointed that I have not been given a chance. I have something to offer and it is not hateful  or violent,  It is about love and compassion. I want to offer other hope, by the message of Lord Jesus. He was a man if action and he came to lonely and rejected. I know, what it like to be in this sub group. I want to give back and no one will give me a chance. I will not turn to hate and angry. I choose mercy and compassion. I want to help people and I Just would like a chance. Why will not someone just give me this chance? I want to serve a purpose and I want to give back. It just so frustrating , that I just repeat myself over and over again. 

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